Review: After Dead by Charlaine Harris

After Dead: What Came Next in the World of Sookie Stackhouse - Charlaine Harris

One of the most disgusting, money-grubbing ploys I've seen in literature. 

I want to be very clear. I borrowed After Dead from my library's ebook program. It was not worth the library’s funds to send it to me. It was not worth the .00001% of my internet bill that downloading it cost me. It was certainly not worth the 27 minutes, (including two refreshes because the page froze,) that it took to read. And I thought Dead Ever After was unsatisfying. 

By the time I got to the first entry in this glorified appendix, my ebook informed me that I was already 16% done with the book. The table of contents alone is 10%. (The hardcover is 202 pages, which means 20 PAGES of this book is the table of contents.) Pretty much every character, minor or not, who’s still alive at the end of the 13th book is included in an alphabetical list. Each letter has a full page illustration in the original cover styles. They look fine, but that’s another 26 pages that don’t actually contain anywriting. The final looks range from single sentences, (my favorite is “HANK CLEARWATER contracted gonorrhea”,) to a whole two and a half pages for Sookie.

Sadly, poor Hank’s fate is typical for the fare in this...novel? Pretty much every character is described as having a rocky relationship, divorce, tragic death, or personal disappointments. I know that’s how real life works, but the realism ship sailed approximately six words into Dead Until Dark. I don’t need to know Jane Bodehouse died falling off a toilet. It feels like Harris is tired of her biggest series, (no secret that she’s been done for several books,) and is torturing the characters and the fans out of spite.

Three points are all that kept me from giving this abomination zero stars:

Jason’s daughter marries Hoyte’s son. (Even though they’re both dumb as posts and she got pregnant out of wedlock while working at a dog food factory before hand.)

was actually wondering where Bubba ended up.

Kevin and Kenya finally got together and nothing bad happened.

(show spoiler)


Tah-dah! 

And some points why this trash deserves no stars:

Bill becomes a video game designer, (okaaay,) and King of Louisiana in a nod to the show.

Amelia and Bob (used to be a cat) had a son Felix (cat) who grew up to work with big cats. Cats. Also they got divorced. 

Tara and JB get divorced after he cheats. He dies in his nursing home having sex with an orderly.

JOHN QUINN had many more adventures.”

BARRY (HOROWITZ) BELLBOY... We may hear more about the rest of his life.”

HUNTER SAVOY … He had many adventures after that.”
Get the picture? (At least Barry and Hunter got some bio. That is literally all there is for Quinn.) If you want to write spin-off series, great, but then don’t include them in this book. It’s cheap. And, I’m one of the few who liked Quinn and not even I want to see a party planning weretiger series. Terrible ideas.

Terry and his new wife die in a car accident. You monster.

JASON DROPS DEAD AT FIFTY-FIVE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

(show spoiler)



Don’t buy After Dead. It’s misery porn. There can’t be more than three thousand actual words. It’s a cheap cash in. It’s terrible.